Statistics show that married people are happier, live longer and have more money than single people. Now this is not to advocate marriage or
criticize singles. It is simply to make the point that we all need someone, a companion or partner to share life with. Marriage has gotten a bad rap. I am a strong
believer in marriage and also believe that most people given a choice would rather be in a long term relationship or marriage than remain single. How does your
relationship or lack of it measure up?
Relationship Assessment
Relationship Questionnaire
- I have no close friends. I find it
difficult to develop long term loving relationships. I worry about being alone in my old age. Unfortunately, I guess the single life is my destiny. Give yourself a
1.
- I have a one or two really close friends. My intimate relationships usually end with me breaking off the relationship. I don't like depending
on others. I would rather be self-sufficient. My current relationship is pretty rocky. Marriage probably isn't in my future. Give yourself a 2.
- I
have several close friends and depend on them from time to time for advice and a shoulder to cry on. I am not happy with my current relationship and would like to
explore ways to improve it. I believe my partner feels the same way. Give yourself a 3.
- I have close friends that I can rely on and who rely on
me. I am married/have a partner but things could be better. I sometimes worry that he/she doesn't really love me. Give yourself a 4.
- I have
great friends and enjoy a strong and loving relationship with my wife/husband/partner. Sure we sometimes have disagreements, but we work it out because we are
committed to each other. You are a 5!
Okay, how did you measure up? If your 15 or less you need to work on your relationships. One way is to ask
a close friend what they like about and what drives them crazy. My mom use to say in order to have friends you first have to be a friend. If your relationship with your
partner/spouse is less than perfect try this exercise. Write down everything you are grateful for about your spouse/partner. The list might include: I am grateful that
he/she makes a great pot of coffee, he/she makes me laugh, she lets me read the Sunday funnies first. Now concentrate on the things you are grateful for not the
negatives. Maybe you need to spend more time together talking, really communicating. Maybe you need to argue less and listen more.
Relationships take a
lot of effort it's not 50/50 sometimes it's a 110/0. You need to make a commitment to making the relationship work whether it's developing more friends and
expanding your social network or deepening your relationship with your partner. Many people want to give up to easily. Rememeber what attracted you to this person
in the first place. Honor and respect them for who they are and celebrate the relationship, you'll live a longer and happier life.
