If you watched the Oscar-award winning movie "Juno, " you might recall the husband (played by Jason Bateman) say, "We can get a
Collaborative divorce. I hear it's all the rage."
He's right. There are twenty times more collaborative professionals now than just ten years ago. And this
explosion is changing how people get divorced from Canada to the Far East.
Here's why. One of the biggest advantages of Collaborative divorce is that you
get to stay out of the courtroom. In fact, both clients and their lawyers sign a document promising they will reach an agreement without going to
court.
Immediately, this sets the mood that it won't be an "us" verses "them" battle. Instead, it's a team approach where you, your spouse and your lawyers
sit around a table openly discussing your needs. Your Collaborative team can also include a divorce coach, a financial expert and a child
specialist.
Together, you and your team come up with creative solutions that help you feel more confident about your future.
For instance, in
traditional litigation, a court often requires you sell your house and split your assets. In a Collaborative divorce, you might decide it's better to rent the house for a
couple of years and then buy it from your ex or sell it at a later date. You get to explore all your options and decide on what's best for you and your
family.
Working with a team of Collaborative professionals does something else. It keeps you clear-headed and focused throughout the process. As an
attorney, I believe this is crucial.
Time and time again, I see people enter the divorce process drowning in their emotions. They're so consumed, they can't
evaluate their situation properly. The result: they make decisions they later regret.
Instead, a Collaborative team helps you see clearly during this trying time
so you make ideal long-term decisions.
And in a Collaborative divorce, you keep total control of the process. You dictate the pace of the meetings and the
settlement terms. This saves you considerable time and money.
That's why when physician Jayna L. divorced her husband after 14 years, they chose the
collaborative model. She said, "I have other friends that are in the process of divorcing and are going through that horrible time where one lawyer writes up a
contract and then sends it to the other, and the other one tears it up and it goes back and forth."
Because we did it all together we were able to agree on
things, I think, much quicker . . . it was much more amicable, no animosity was caused by the process, which I know can happen.''
More importantly, your
children don't become courtroom bargaining chips or suffer added emotional stress either.
Your team's coaches and child specialist help you understand what
your children might not admit. This gives children a voice in the process which relieves much of the grief, anger and fear divorce often brings.
What's more,
the collaborative model understands after a divorce, you don't stop being a family. The model redefines your family structure - knowing you still have a future
together.
That's why you won't hear cold court terms like "custody" or "visitation." After all, you don't want to "visit" your children, you want to spend time
with them, right?
And the reality is, you want to attend their school concerts, watch them blow out the candles on their birthday cake and someday dance at
their weddings.
I'm not saying that Collaborative divorce leaves you all holding hands and
giving each other group hugs. Sure, meetings can get stressful and you'll need to walk out for air. You're human. Divorce is difficult. But that's when your trained
team becomes invaluable.
They gently guide you back to the issues at hand so you can move past the tough emotions that are sure to surface. And with a
clear head, you will develop fair solutions that let everyone - you, your ex and your children - heal faster and confidently look forward to the future.
To see if
the collaborative model is right for you, download your free "Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit." In this kit, you'll discover more about the collaborative model,
read about families who chose collaboration, and directly compare this model to litigation.