What is emotional infidelity?

Emotional infidelity is a type of infidelity that occurs through emotions, feelings or thoughts, rather than physical actions. It occurs when we think intimately about and crave emotional intimacy from someone other than our spouse, in order to meet our personal needs.

Emotional infidelity springs from seemingly innocent actions. It can include anything from texting someone intimately from your cell phone to intimate email exchanges, swapping personal photos or even viewing pornography.

Just like physical infidelity, emotional infidelity arises from needs which have not been met. The danger is that it is so often the precursor to sexual infidelity.

Is emotional infidelity really being unfaithful?

Emotional infidelity is rarely planned; it often arises from an innocent friendship that went too far, then became too intimate.

It usually begins with the exchange of personal information and can begin with seemingly innocent personal discussions, but then grows more intimate as time goes on. Emotional infidelity often begins in the workplace where we meet interesting people with similar values and interests.

It can be argued that emotional infidelity is harmless because it is more of a casual relationship than traditional cheating; however, the intimate nature of the communication, plus the emotional investment made by the people involved places emotional infidelity on the same level as traditional cheating.

Emotional involvement is cheating, no matter how it happens. If it is something you are involved in and not telling your partner or spouse about, you are being unfaithful.

What are the dangers and consequences of emotional infidelity?

The big danger of emotional infidelity is not just the relationship itself, but the potential it has of sparking off a real romantic affair.

Emotional infidelity is arguably the most painful and damaging type of cheating in a relationship or marriage. It can be harder on the betrayed partner than actual adultery.

This is because it can often be tougher to accept that your loved one has given themselves to someone else emotionally than if they have done so physically.