Whether you have considered filing for divorce, or are in the middle of one now, you may have heard about mediation. In a Florida divorce, sooner or later, you will go to mediation, either before you file the case; or during the case. That's because Florida judges refer the case to mediation before a trial. So what is mediation and what are the advantages to you of using it n in your divorce, especially if you fear a long battle in court?

Mediation is one of the alternatives to a trial. You will use a mediator, who will help you and your spouse communicate. Mediators are not judges; they cannot make you agree, they can simply help you to agree. For example, they can help each party see the weaknesses or strengths of their case without bias, or help you solve issues more creatively.

Perhaps the most important advantage to using mediation services is the control each party has over what the outcome will be. No one is going to be affected by the ultimate outcome of your divorce like you will be. So why put the resolution of your case in the hands of a third party---a judge--who does not know you, and has hundreds if not thousands of cases like yours with limited time to devote to each case?

Another important advantage in mediation is that negotiations during mediation are confidential, unless the law requires the mediator to make disclosure. Broadly speaking, this means you cannot tell your judge what was discussed in mediation if an agreement is not reached. However, the law requires a mediator to disclose certain things, such as child abuse, if they learn about it during the mediation. In any case, the confidentiality is important because it lets the parties discuss the issues and potential agreement fully, without fear of being held to a less favorable position in court if the mediation does not result in a marital settlement agreement.

Also, while your attorneys are an invaluable source of information and advice-including during a mediation session-they don't work for free. We're all familiar with the cost of good legal advice on the way to the courthouse so there is no point in discussing that here. But saving on attorney's fees is also a great advantage because there is no need to continue litigating once you have reached an agreement--the more money you save in the more you can keep for you and your children, if any.

In addition, studies show that parties to a divorce are more likely to comply with the terms of an agreement they participated in reaching then with the terms of a final judgment. So, once your divorce is final, you may be less likely to go back into court to enforce the terms of an agreement than you are those of a final judgment.

Lastly, there is the advantage of cutting your case short. Anyone who has been a plaintiff or defendant in the court system is aware of the pressure and stress involved. In a divorce, particularly when the parties have children, the last thing a family needs is the pressure and stress of the process or the lingering ill-feeling after the divorce decree is final.

(c) 2008 Vivian Rodriguez. All Rights Reserved.