Q. What should I ask a prospective a lawyer?

A. Before you hire a lawyer to take on a divorce case, be sure to ask them the following questions?

- Where did you attend law school?

--Do you know my soon to be ex-spouse? Do you know their lawyer?

--How many divorce cases have you handled throughout your career? How many of these cases have gone to trial?

--Have you handled custody disputes or financial settlements?

--Will you have plenty of time to devote to this case or do you have others coming up that will be a higher priority for you?

--Will you personally deal with all aspects of my case, or will also have an associate on the case? If so, when will I be able to meet with them, and what level of related experience do they possess?

- What are your fees, the hourly billing rate, and how do you expect payment? And, do you charge a retainer, and if so, how much?

- What are your regular office hours, and what is the easiest way to get in contact with you?

Q. What is a divorce mediator and should I consider employing one?

A: A divorce mediator is used to handle issues such as child custody and the separation of marital assets, and to explain the applicable divorce laws in your area. A mediator is an unbiased party, usually a lawyer or counselor, who helps to facilitate compromise between spouses without the need for litigation in a courtroom.

Q: How do I approach the subject of our impending divorce with the children?

A. Its always best to be as honest as possible with your children. Obviously this doesn't mean sharing all the intimate details of the situation with them. Frame your words in as simple and gentle a fashion as possible. Older children are generally already acutely aware that their parents are unhappy together, even if you have done your best to avoid arguing in their presence. Young children though, may be quite shocked by the news, so handle the situation with patience and delicacy.

It's crucial to convey that they have absolutely nothing to do with the end of the marriage, and also to explain that both parents will still love the children unconditionally even if they aren't in love with each other any more.

Q. What happens after the divorce?

A. Everyone will handle life following a divorce differently, depending on their personality and mindset, the circumstances of the divorce, and whether or not the decision was mutual and expected or sudden and unforeseen. You may feel depressed, angry, or deeply relieved.

Try to meet new people, learn new and interesting things, and make a fresh start of life as far as possible. Keep stress in check and treat yourself well.

Remember that in life, every experience can be an opportunity to grow wiser and stronger.