Learning how to survive infidelity is much easier if you can lean on the experience of others who have managed to do it successfully, especially couples with first hand experience of dealing with it themselves and in their own relationship or marriage.

Based on what has worked for others the secret of how to survive infidelity is to follow these steps:

Step 1 - End The Affair 100%

The cheating partner must end the affair and break all contact and ties with the third party. The cheated partner must feel totally certain that it is over and in the past.

Step 2 - Take time out

You need to take time out to work out what you really want to do. Each partner needs to be totally honest and decide what's best for them, not what's most convenient or what makes it easier for others.

Step 3 - Look at why it happened

You need to put all your energies into focusing on the solution which is how to survive infidelity as opposed to the problem, which is the infidelity itself.

Evaluate why the infidelity happened. The cheating partner needs to think about what was missing from your relationship and what they were looking to replace. The cheated partner should start looking at how they were acting in the relationship and how they could have done certain things differently.

Step 4 - Communicate

The two of you need to start communicating positively. Anger and shouting may seem natural under the circumstances but if you really want to work things out recognise that you must do this from a calm space. If you can't agree on something, agree to disagree on it then move on.