Going through a divorce is a humbling difficult process that can tend to have a lot of negative circumstances and emotions associated with it. The problem sometimes is that people get stuck in this bad place and don’t get on with their lives. In the book “Working Through the Crisis” written by Jeff Brown he says, “Everyone is stuck somewhere; the trick is not to stay that way.” For me this was particularly true, I found myself stuck in a rut waiting for something to happen. Day after day I tried to hold on and believe that things would be different, that God was going to work a miracle. When nothing of the sort happened I was depressed and discouraged not knowing what to do.

It was easy for me to stay depressed and angry with my ex spouse but I learned long ago that living in a rut was not for me. Why settle for simply surviving when I could thrive and enjoy life. There is a time and place for feeling sorry for yourself but at some point you need to pick yourself up and take a good hard look at life and get back on track.

My pride took a huge blow because of the divorce, I struggle with pride as it is and to go through a divorce I was devastated. I took it all on myself as being a failure, for letting my spouse and daughter down, even though I was not the one that left. I realized that no matter how I felt about myself that God really does love me and has a plan for me. I had to pull myself up and get back to business. Sure I had things to work through but I was confident that I would be a better person in the end if I faced these challenges head on and at the same time put the divorce behind me.

The easiest way I found to move on was to find a Christian counselor, one that was dependable and available on a regular basis. And one that would tell me the way it was without trying to sugar coat it, someone that was straightforward and honest. Through open and honest communication I was able to see myself in a different light while at the same time forgive myself, even if my ex did not. I realized that I have very little control over anything, the extent of my control started and stopped with me and even then I felt powerless at times.

I recommend that if you feel you are in a rut and want to get out, now is the time. Put the anger, pity, depression, and whatever is holding you down aside and get on with your life. You will find that after a few weeks things start looking and feeling better. Look forward to what today brings and look forward to healing and growing.