Research has found that people tend to marry those with similar attitudes, religion and values because these are much more easily seen.
However, it is similarity in personality, (which takes much longer to be known and accurately assessed) that seems to be more important in maintaining a good
relationship. This is due to the fact that being in a committed relationship requires regular interaction with regard to daily living skills and so personality has to come
into play here a great deal. So opposites attract in the short run but not for the long hall.
They have found that couples who experience a "love at first sight"
phenomenon end up having a really steamy relationship that last but the best relationships tend to be those in which the couple date for a long period of time and
spend time getting to know each other. So what is the recipe for a marriage made in heaven? The best combination it would seem is a "love at first sight" experience
were the couple is opposite in many ways but not in the most important way their personality and they still spend a great deal of time getting to know each
other.
I bet you never thought that eating healthy could enhance your relationship but research has proven that it could. So what can you do if you and your
spouse do not have similar personalities? Well at least EAT YOUR WAY TO BETTER SEX! (No I don't mean whip cream on body parts although chocolate syrup
can potentially work lol.) This will then enhance your relationship. Nitric Oxide is necessary for men to get an erection and women to become lubricated and
engorged. People need arginine and amino acids to create nitric oxide. This will help prolong arousal. So were can you find this Arginine? In nuts and fish especially
almonds, salmon, cod, halibut and herring. Antioxidants are very important to libido and a sexy sex life. So make sure to eat lots of tomatoes, red peppers, garlic,
spinach, broccoli, beets, red grapes and a bit of dark chocolate.
Smarter Marriages: 6 steps to a higher marriage IQ
1. Be best friends;
spend time communicating and doing activities together such as: take dance lessons together, explore a new place together, learn a new massage and try it out on
one another, learn a new language together.
2. Be playful, People who play together stay together!
3. Be complimentary and
thoughtful to one another everyday.
4. Be financially secure, most marriages fail due to financial stress.
5. Have healthy negative
emotions (such as: concern rather then anxiety, remorse rather then guilt, disappointment rather then shame etc) if you have to have them at all by changing your
irrational beliefs to rational ones. How do we do this? By changing the way we phrase things. We have 60, 000 thoughts a day so be aware of having awfulizing
beliefs, depreciation beliefs and using words like "have to, must, should."
6. Be in the present moment together and be each others
cheerleader.
The Vines of Our Lives: (even better then days of our lives)!
Out in the Jungle of love, Tarzan and Jane are blissfully happy as they
gently caress each other placing soft hot kisses on each others bodies, massaging away the tension from all that long lovemaking. As Tarzan and Jane just lay their
contently entangled in the vines of their love. They think back to what started this passionately wild lovemaking session and they recall their fight just a few hrs. ago
was nothing but that they simply offended each other. Jane whispered in Tarzans ear "let's have another fight. I read in Science Daily a good fight with your spouse
is good for your health. Did you know that they found that couples who suppress their anger instead of expressing it die earlier?" "What is considered a good fight?"
asks Tarzan "It's one were you express your anger as annoyance and resolve the conflict." replies Jane. "Yes, lets get annoyed at each other I do love it when we
make up." Tarzan answers. "Oh, Tarzan, I can handle any stress being married to you, in a happy marriage all work related stress melts away, even cortisol levels
drop" says Jane. The moral of the story: fighting is great for a relationship as long as you can adjust your thoughts to be rational ones (i.e. don't say my husband
shouldn't, must not....rather say to yourself I would prefer if he didn't....but no were in the universe does it say he must not..) and therefore have an appropriate
negative emotion such as frustration or annoyance rather then anger and then talk and work it out instead of withdrawing, avoiding or worse shouting and
yelling.