Research done by Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D., and Susan Yager-Berkowitz, M.A. about why men weren't having sex with their wife, found the number one reason far above anything else was: "She isn't sexually adventurous enough."

So what does in mean to be 'sexually adventurous' you may be wondering. I was wondering the same thing, I so I did some research. Interestingly enough, there seems to be no set definition for 'sexually adventurous'. It is one of those phrases that the definition will vary depending upon who you ask.

I think a reasonable definition to a married man, aside from what his fantasies may conjure up, would be - a sexually adventurous wife is a woman who is willing to try new things as long as they don't violate the marriage vows, are not degrading, abusive or demeaning and are enjoyed by both.

A religious scholar I know says that when it comes to sex in marriage, anything goes as long as both enjoy the activity. He says he can find no scriptural limitations on what goes on between a husband and wife in the bedroom as long as both are okay with it. After all inimate relations are meant to be private.

For more ideas on being Sexually Adventurous see my article "7 Simple Ways to be More Sexually Adventurous".

Since the definition of sexually adventurous will vary from one person to the next, a couple needs a way to discover and share with each other, sexual activities they would like to use to heighten their sexual experience, increase their level of intimacy and enjoy a more satisfying sex life.

One method sexologist Dr. Ava Cadell recommends is for couples to communicate their sexually adventurous desires by using a wish list. Her suggestion is at the beginning of each month; each person writes down three sexual wishes then exchange them with their partner.

Using a sexual adventure wish list can be a great way to share your most intimate erotic desires and meet each others sexual needs in a non-threatening way and without fear of rejection or putting pressure on your partner.

By phrasing your erotic desires or, 'Sexual Adventures', as wishes such as: "I wish you would give me a full body sensual massage using oil." Or "I wish I could watch you pleasure yourself to orgasm." Or "I wish we could take a shower or bubble bath together." Or "I wish you would tell me how it feels when I do something that is pleasurable to you."

Even something simple like "I wish the next time we make love we could try a new position." Or "I wish we could leave the lights on or light some candles." Lets your partner know what you want or need for sexual enjoyment.

And if for some reason they find your wish too much for them they can simply say no thank you or offer a compromise. For example if a woman is too self conscious about her body to leave the lights on or have a bunch of candles she can say yes to one or two candles. Or if a man is not comfortable speaking out loud and saying "Oh baby I love the way it feels when you ___________ my __________ with your ___________." He can instead choose to say "Mmmmmm", "Uh ha uh ha", "That's nice" and so on.

Don't let not being "sexually adventurous enough" be the reason you don't enjoy the pleasure and joy to be found with sexual intimacy in marriage. Use a Sexual Adventure wish list for better sex and a healthy happy life.