Advice on this subject can come from many sources, but that which comes from the experience of trial and error has to be the best. Learning from our own mistakes. So just don't expect to come into a marriage and change things with respect to your spouses children. Making new rules and demands, taking sides or expecting your spouses child or children to act in the way that your child does. Remember everyone is a unique individual.

As a mother of five with a blended family my advice would be "DON'T RUSH INTO THINGS". Although you may have developed a relationship or found your life partner, the child or children involved have not. Their relationship with this new parent will have to be developed and nurtured just as you and your partner have nurtured your own, you established trust, learned to communicate and love each other and understood each others likes and dislikes. Remember the children no matter what age need to develop this relationship with not only your partner but with his or her child or children as well.

Discuss matters of discipline and expected values, tell you partner the way you handled things with respects to your child and your reasoning.

Be open and honest with each other putting your problems on the table for discussion before you get married. Communicate on a personal level with your own child or children as well, ask them how they feel about your partner and his or her children. Allow your child or children to express his or her likes and dislikes personally with you.

As far every one getting along, well its an experience and a constant experiment. Be open and honest always keeping the lines of communication open. Don't set your expectations to high, try not to criticize, analyze or complain. Remember to treat others as you want to be treated and that respect deserved is respect earned. Don't forget that children do need structure and routine, praise, fellowship and discipline along with responsibility. Most of all they need to be recognized and loved just the same as you. They deserve your respect and appreciation the same as you.

Let us not forget the words of poet Dorothy Law Nolte, "CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE".